Of Frogs and Diablo Blood
by Vamptress RayZor
Summary: “Laugh all you wish,” he growled to himself, looking at the shining orbs in the slots on his gun. My poor attempt at humor


_**Of Frogs and Diablo Blood  
**__V. RayZor_

"Ugh... This is so gross," a loud voice complained as she swatted a bug on her shoulder. "Couldn't you have picked somewhere else to train?"

Vincent watched with silent amusement, albeit agreeing with the teenager. Cloud cut through another diablo and turned to her, panting heavily. The three of them were sweating profusely as Vincent's and Yuffie's hair clung to them and Cloud's spikes drooped sullenly.

"Sorry, Yuffie," he replied, leaning on his Ultima Weapon. "Tifa and Nanaki are near Icicle Town and the others are near the desert. I thought that the three of us should train far away from them."

"The Ancient Forest was your best idea?" she sputtered, swatting at the bugs. "Why not Mideel? They've got those grody goblins! Or Nibelheim and Mt. Nibel? There're all kinds of dragons there! At least that'd be better than these stupid diablos."

Vincent was forced to agree. "She is right, Cloud. Why the Ancient Forest?"

The blonde scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I dunno... Guess it's 'cause this place doesn't remind me of anyone. It doesn't bring back unwanted memories."

Yuffie fell silent as he spoke, looking at the ground almost guiltily. "Sorry," she said after a few moments of silence between the three.

"For what?" Cloud asked, watching her in bafflement.

"For complaining. I mean, it must be hard to live with so many memories of bad things."

Vincent detected a sort of underlying understanding in the girl's voice. She seemed to be sorrier for having not thought of his feelings than having complained. Apparently, Cloud caught it too, because hi MAKO eyes showed sympathy for the young shin obi. Was it possible that Cloud knew more about her than anyone else?

"There's a diablo behind you, Vinnie."

It took a moment for the gunman to comprehend what she had said, then he whirled around and shot the monster with deadly accuracy. The diablo had been in the middle of charging and Vincent's eyes widened considerably at the sight. The momentum that the beast had built up had carried it far enough forward to slam into the poor man. Vincent got knocked to the ground and found himself pinned beneath the beast, his gun off to the side.

"Oh, shit," Yuffie cursed bluntly. She and Cloud scrambled across broken logs and fallen trees to help the trapped Valentine, who decided he agreed with Yuffie's other locations once again.

"Man, Vincent, this thing stinks," Cloud said.

"Believe me, I know," Vincent stated sarcastically.

Yuffie was caught so off-guard that she stopped and stared at him. "Dude! You made a joke!"

"The correct terminology would be that I was being sarcastic," replied said gunman.

Cloud laughed a little as Yuffie began helping him pull the beast off poor Vincent. "Shocked me too, Yuff. I didn't know you had it in ya, Vince."

The gunman merely closed his eyes to block the gruesome face of the deceased diablo from his mind. The beast's blood dripped morbidly into Vincent's hair and onto his face from the bullet hole in its head. The feeling made the man's skin crawl. He would need a very long shower after this ordeal.

"You okay, Vinnie?" Yuffie asked as she and Cloud finally removed the burden from comrade.

Vincent sat up, his face and hair covered in slimy blue-green diablo blood. "Yes, Yuffie. I am fine…"

"Or he will be after a long, hot shower," Cloud added with a look of something between disgust and amusement on his face.

Yuffie laughed and twirled her Oritsuru expertly. "Hey, Cosmo Canyon ain't too far from here! Let's go chill there 'till everyone else calls."

Vincent's red orbs glared at the beast that had coated him in the MAKO blood. "Whatever we do, I need a shower."

Yuffie and Cloud exchanged glances before laughing loudly. They clutched their sides and guffawed, tears streaming down their cheeks. The vision of Vincent Valentine, the stoic gunman void of humor, standing with a claw on his hip and a hand to his forehead covered in monster MAKO goop was priceless.

Grabbing Death Penalty, Vincent glowered at the two. "Laugh all you wish," he growled to himself, looking at the shining orbs in the slots on his gun. He smirked at the combination of a mastered All and a mastered Lightning. "Bolt," he muttered.

"Ow!"

"Shit!"

Two very irritated people glared at him from the ground. Cloud's hair was singed and Yuffie's was unstylish messier than usual.

"I do have humor occasionally," he told them, wiping goop-soaked bangs from his face.

"Oh, two can play at this game, Vinnie," the Kisaragi heir said with a wicked grin.

"Or three," Cloud added helpfully.

A glimmer of fear appeared in Vincent Valentine's eyes as he tried desperately to fins a ribbon.

---------------------------HIYA------------------

Tifa and Cid stood on the deck of the Highwind, awaiting their three comrades. Yuffie and Cloud boarded with smug looks on their faces.

"Where is Vincent?" the busty brunette asked worriedly.

Cid glanced over the railing, but the gunman was not there. He looked back over to Cloud, who was trying not to laugh, then to the ninja teen.

Yuffie pulled a red-eyed green frog from her knap sack. "Here he is!" she exclaimed as loudly as she could.

Cloud was unable to hold the laughter in any longer and he and Yuffie laughed uncontrollably. Highwind and Lockheart could only stare at them dumbly… And poor Vincent hopped up and down, trying to get someone's attention.

The moral of this story: Never piss off Yuffie and Cloud if they have ribbons with the ability to turn you into a frog if you do not have ribbon as well.

_**.fin.**_


End file.
